What Actually Happens During a Therapy Consultation?
If you've never been to therapy before, scheduling a consultation can feel surprisingly intimidating.
You may have questions like:
Am I supposed to tell them everything?
Is this basically a mini therapy session?
What if I don't know where to start?
What if I realize they're not the right therapist for me?
What if they decide they can't help me?
By the name itself, it really isn't clear if a consultation is a meet-and-greet, a shortened version of a therapy session, or something else entirely.
Essentially, a therapy consultation is a very casual conversation about very personal things... with someone you've never met before. Which isn't something most people do very often.
If You're Nervous, That Makes Sense
The good news is that you don't need to know exactly what to say, how much to share, or how to structure the conversation.
That's our job.
We know what questions to ask. We know how to guide the conversation. We know how to manage the time.
You just need to show up, answer what you'd like to answer, and ask what you're curious about.
You don't have to worry about spending 15 or 30 minutes making awkward small talk.
And you don't have to open up fully right away if you don't want to.
In fact, you only ever have to share what feels right to share. That is true during a consultation and throughout therapy.
Even though a consultation is not formal therapy, with the right therapist, people often leave feeling some relief simply because they're finally talking about something they've been carrying alone.
So What Is a Consultation?
A therapy consultation is a two-way, casual interview.
As the therapist, we're asking ourselves:
Can I confidently and competently help with what this person is experiencing?
As the client, you're asking yourself:
Can I build trust and connection with this therapist? Do I want to keep talking to this person?
A consultation is simply a chance for both of you to gather information before deciding whether moving forward feels right.
What Your Therapist Is Trying to Learn
Most therapists will ask some version of:
"What brings you to therapy?"
Our goal with this broad question is to understand several things at once.
What led you to reach out now?
Have you been considering therapy for months or years and finally decided it was time?
Did something happen recently that pushed things to a point where support felt necessary?
How long have things in your life not felt right?
We're also trying to understand what you hope will be different.
What is happening now that you'd like to stop?
What isn't happening now that you'd like to experience more of?
What would tell you that therapy is helping?
Most therapists will also ask about things like:
Previous therapy experiences
Family relationships
Romantic relationships
Friendships and support systems
School or work
Physical health
Major life events
You don't need to prepare answers ahead of time—just answer in the moment.
The goal is simply to help us understand your situation well enough to determine whether we're equipped to help.
How Much Should You Share During a Consultation?
There is no correct amount that you "should" share.
Some people start talking and spend most of the consultation getting everything out.
Some struggle to find the words and offer shorter responses while the therapist guides the conversation.
And still others spend most of the consultation asking questions.
Whether you bring bullet points, a few sentences, or enough history to fill most of the consultation, we'll be ready for it.
The decision about how much you share is yours.
What Can You Ask Your Therapist?
You're encouraged to ask whatever questions would help you feel more confident about your decision.
Some people ask practical questions:
What does therapy cost?
What is your availability?
How often do you typically meet with clients?
Others want to know more about the therapist's background:
What training do you have?
What types of concerns do you work with most often?
What therapeutic approaches do you use?
Others are more interested in what the experience of therapy might be like:
What is your style like?
How active are you during sessions?
How do you typically work with someone experiencing what I'm experiencing?
The best questions are the ones that help you feel more informed and more comfortable about taking the next step.
Why Do Some Therapists Offer 15-Minute Consultations and Others Offer 30-Minute Consultations?
Different therapists structure consultations differently.
A 15-minute consultation can briefly cover the basics:
Why you're seeking therapy
Whether the therapist has relevant experience
Logistics such as scheduling and fees
A few questions from both sides
A 30-minute consultation allows for more breathing room.
There's more time to discuss what's been going on, ask questions, sort through uncertainty, and get a better sense of what it might feel like to work together.
At Point of Convergence Therapy, we offer free 30-minute consultations because we believe people should have an opportunity to ask and answer questions without time pressure and before paying for a full therapy session.
Therapy is an investment of time, energy, vulnerability, and money.
We want you to feel, at a minimum, reasonably confident that the person you're sitting across from is the right therapist for you before asking you to make that investment.
What Happens After the Consultation?
At the end of the consultation, one of three things usually happens.
- You decide this feels like someone you can work with and schedule your first appointment.
- The therapist determines that another clinician may be better suited to your needs and provides referrals.
- You decide it isn't the right match and continue your search.
All three outcomes are completely acceptable.
A consultation isn't about convincing yourself to work with that particular therapist. It's about choosing whether that therapist truly has the experience you're looking for and whether you want to keep meeting with them.
Discovering that a therapist isn't the right person for your needs is frustrating. Most people hope the first consultation works out. And sometimes it does. But when it doesn't, you've still solidified what you want and learned what you definitely do not want before investing additional time, money, and energy into a full course of therapy.