What to Expect When Starting Therapy 

Learn what really happens in therapy, what your first session might look like, and how to find the best therapist for you.

What to Expect When Starting Therapy

Starting therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown. Even if you’ve done it before, there’s always a moment of hesitation — the back-of-your-mind voice asking, “What if this doesn’t go well?”

You might wonder…

“What am I supposed to say?” 

“Will I be awkward?… Will my therapist be awkward?” 

“How will I trust this person when trust doesn’t come easily to me?”

“How do I hand over all of my ‘stuff’ without feeling like a burden?”

As you wait for the first session to begin, even more concerns spill into your mind: What if they think I’m dramatic? What if they don’t like me? What if they expect something from me that I can’t give? What if they think I’m bad for being tired of the caretaker role…or selfish for wanting more?

This is how a lot of us cope with uncertainty.

Almost everyone walks into therapy with a mix of hope, fear, and self-protection. It’s deeply personal work, and it makes sense that you’d want to know exactly what you’re walking into.

At Point of Convergence Therapy, we believe you deserve clarity and compassion from the very start. This page will walk you through what happens before, during, and after your first session, so you can get a real sense of how therapy might look and feel for you.

Before Your First Session: How to Start Therapy Step by Step

The process of starting therapy begins long before you sit down for your first session. Here’s what it might look like:

1. Reflect on your goals

Take a moment to think about what you hope to get out of therapy. You don’t have to prepare a speech or know exactly what to say. Some people jot down a few things they want to talk about; others come in with a general sense of “I just need things to feel different.”  

2. Research a few therapists

Explore websites, read bios, and notice whose headshot, tone, or specialties feel like a fit for what you’re seeking. See who you find yourself the most curious to learn more about. 

3. Schedule brief consultations

Most therapists offer a short phone or video call so you can share what’s bringing you to therapy and ask questions in a low-pressure setting. This is to help determine that it’s a good fit for you both.

4. Choose your therapist and book your first session

Go with the person who feels like a good match. You may not know if they’re “right” just yet, but you feel a bit of hope reaching out to them. Someone who you can imagine opening up to and has the training to help you with your goals.

5. Complete your intake forms.

Before the first session, you’ll be asked to fill out confidential forms about your background, current concerns, and goals. This helps your therapist understand your story and how to best support you. They may ask follow-up questions about your responses so they can get a better sense of your history. You only have to share what you’re comfortable with.  

6. Attend your first session and set goals together

Your first appointment is about building safety and trust. You might talk through what’s been hardest lately, or you sketch the outline of what’s been weighing on you. The goal isn’t to rush, nor to share anything before you’re ready. We’re just starting to create a space that feels steady enough for the deeper work ahead.

What Sessions Are Like at Point of Convergence Therapy

For many people, the biggest unknown about starting therapy is what actually happens in the therapy room. At Point of Convergence Therapy, here’s what you can expect from therapy sessions with our team:

  • A space to just be you. All feelings, thoughts, and parts of you are welcome here. Even the ones that feel too much, too messy, or too dark, your therapist will hold it with care, curiosity, and compassion. If you’re worried about saying the “wrong” thing or about how you’ll come across, you can say that, too. Naming those worries is part of the work, and it often helps set a tone of honesty from the start.

  • Exploration and reflection. Your therapist will help you untangle patterns that once protected you but now make it hard to move forward. We’ll connect the dots between what’s happened before and what’s showing up now—and figure out what might actually help you feel better. You don’t have to perform or “get it right.” It’s a place to be real, messy, and human, and to have someone meet you there with care and compassion.

  • Tools and strategies to support you. Depending on your needs, your therapist may teach grounding practices, offer new perspectives, or guide you through approaches like DBT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic techniques, or EMDR.

Your symptoms—whether trauma responses, intrusive thoughts, dissociation, or restless anxiety—are what have kept you steady and safe when nothing else has. Therapy is about reworking those patterns and finding a solid anchor for healing, wholeness, and happiness. 

What Progress in Therapy Looks Like

Therapy isn’t a quick fix. Change takes time — it builds in the small choices, often in ways you don’t notice until later.

Some sessions might bring a sense of ease or clarity — moments when things finally start to click. Others might stir emotions or memories you’ve worked hard to keep away. There will be weeks that feel steady, and others that feel like you’ve somehow slipped back to ground zero. That ebb and flow is part of the work — it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong, it means you’re working through the human condition.

Everyone’s healing unfolds differently, but over time, you may notice changes like

  • Responding differently to situations that once felt overwhelming

  • Feeling more present – you’re able to notice what’s happening in your body instead of getting swept away by it

  • Meeting yourself with curiosity or understanding where there used to be shame

  • Trusting your ability to handle what’s ahead, even when it’s uncertain

  • The thoughts or worries that once took over start to lose their grip

  • Feeling safer, more at ease, and more connected in your relationships

How To Find The Right Therapist For You

One of the most important parts of starting therapy is finding the right therapist for you.

Research shows the relationship you build with your therapist is one of the strongest predictors of healing, often more than the specific technique or modality used. 

When you feel a good fit with a therapist, you may: 

  • Feel safe, seen, respected, and understood, even if there are parts of you that may feel guarded or worried at times.

  • Sense curiosity and collaboration from them, not judgment or shame.

  • Look forward to meeting with your therapist, feeling like they are guiding you towards your goals. 

  • Openly give feedback to them about what’s working in the session and what’s not

  • Sense that your therapist is genuinely invested in your growth and healing

It’s okay if you don’t find that fit immediately. Sometimes it takes meeting one or two therapists (sometimes even more) before finding the person who feels right. It may take several sessions before you settle into that rhythm with a new therapist, or you may find they’re great right away.

At Point of Convergence Therapy, we’ll support you in the process of finding your right-fit therapist.  If you’re seeking support for trauma, dissociation, anxiety, or OCD, our team brings specialized training and deep compassion to the work. If that’s not what you’re needing, reach out anyway and we’ll help you find a great-fitting therapist.

FAQ: What To Expect In Therapy

Here are some of the most common questions people have when they’re exploring therapy or preparing for their first session:

How do I know if I need therapy?

You may feel like your life is falling apart, or you may just feel off. Often, the signs we could benefit from therapy are quieter and more subtle. When you notice feelings or patterns that consistently make life heavier, confusing, and exhausting, therapy is probably a great idea.

Some feelings and beliefs that indicate therapy might be right for you:

- Feeling like a burden or that you’re too much for others.

- Wanting to get everything right, all the time, and fear mistakes.

- Hiding parts of yourself but also desperately wishing to be seen and loved.

- Feeling isolated, lonely, or disconnected—even in the company of others.

- Distracted by worries about what others are thinking or whether you’re emotionally safe with them.

- Avoiding social interactions or withdrawal from relationships.

Whether you experience one, none, or all—if you’re looking into therapy, it’s probably time to start the work. We’d be happy to explore this with you during a free consultation. 

What if therapy feels…weird?

Full transparency, it probably will feel weird at first. Especially if this is your first experience with therapy. Opening up, talking about our feelings, and staying with our uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, and beliefs is really hard. Parts of your mind and body might not like this change at first. At the same time, if you feel weird, absolutely share this with your therapist! We can pause and help bring you back to a place of comfort, or we can encourage curiosity about your feelings to take things deeper. 

How long does therapy take?

It depends on your goals, your needs, and the pace that feels right for you. Most people notice meaningful changes within a few weeks or months. You might also choose longer-term work to deepen your understanding of yourself and work through more complicated experiences. Feel free to bring this question to your consultation with a potential therapist, too. 

I’ve been stuck in the same patterns for a long time. Are you sure you can help?

Yes, therapy provides an excellent space to notice these patterns, understand them, and begin creating the support, skills, and perspective you need to feel more stable, connected, and genuinely at home in yourself.

Patterns we can explore with you: 

- Repeatedly finding yourself in relationships that don’t feel healthy or fulfilling.

- Burnout at work or feeling consistently overwhelmed by daily responsibilities.

- Struggling to manage parenting, household, or family duties without constant stress.

- Repeating behaviors or conflicts that you don’t like but can’t seem to stop.

- Recurrent arguments or tension with a spouse, partner, or family members.

Even if these feelings or patterns aren’t “catastrophic,” they matter—and you deserve support.

What if I feel worse before I feel better?

That's likely to happen, but it’s not usually a sign you’re doing something wrong or you're with the wrong therapist. It can be a sign that deeper layers of healing are unfolding. As you touch feelings, memories, and parts of you that you’ve kept buried, feelings may intensify for a while. Think about the pain during physical therapy: It hurts because you're using an injured part of your body in a meaningful way to promote healing. It doesn't feel good but it's what's needed for repair. In mental health therapy, your therapist will help you navigate that process safely and even help you anticipate when it might happen. 

Can I switch therapists if it’s not a good fit?

Absolutely. The therapeutic relationship is central to your healing, no matter what. We encourage you to talk openly about how therapy feels and will support you if a different therapist might be a better match. We can provide specific referrals for a new therapist or give you the tools to search for yourself—whatever is most helpful! 

Here is a script if you need help saying “no” to a therapist after a consultation.  

Do I need a diagnosis to start therapy?

No, you don’t need a formal diagnosis to seek help. Whether you’re dealing with trauma, anxiety, dissociation, or intrusive thoughts, or simply want to understand yourself better, therapy is a space for exploration and healing – no labels needed. 

If you would like your therapist to explore what might be the appropriate diagnosis for you, bring that to your first session or ask on a consult call how the diagnostic process looks in their approach. Some therapists value diagnosis as a way to guide treatment and seek out resources; others find that they can be stigmatizing and prefer a more whole-person lens. You can explore which approach feels right for you during the confidential consultation call.  

Read more: The Truth About Mental Health Diagnostics

Is virtual therapy as effective as in-person therapy?

Yes. Many clients find virtual sessions just as effective, and sometimes even more comfortable and accessible, than meeting in person. All our therapists are trained to create safety and connection online, and the modalities we use are effective in an online setting as well. 

The main challenges with online therapy usually come down to logistics:

- Internet connection: Poor wi-fi can cause frustration or disruptions. Your therapist can help you test your connection before your first session.

- Privacy: Finding a private space where you can speak freely is important. We can help you brainstorm ways to create that space if needed.

Ready to Try Therapy?

You don’t have to have it all figured out to start. What matters is showing up with a bit of curiosity, a willingness to be seen, and trust that you’ll be met where you are without judgment.

Whether you’re ready to book your first session or still thinking through whether therapy is right for you, we’re here to help—without pressure, without judgment, and with genuine attention and interest in you.