How Will I Know I’m Healing in Therapy?

Starting therapy is often an act of courage. But somewhere along the way, many people begin to wonder: “How will I know if it’s actually working?”

Unlike taking a medication or fixing a flat tire, therapy doesn’t always offer quick, visible results. It’s a gradual unfolding — a subtle, layered process. Healing in therapy often shows up in small, quiet moments before it becomes big, lasting change. And just like any real transformation, it may not feel linear.

So how do you know if you’re healing?

Let’s talk about it.

1. You Start Noticing Your Reactions — Before You Respond

One of the first signs of growth in therapy is awareness. You begin to catch yourself in the middle of an emotional pattern you’ve repeated for years — and this time, you pause. You might still get overwhelmed, frustrated, or anxious… but now, you notice it as it’s happening. That noticing is progress.

Healing doesn’t mean you never get triggered — it means you’re beginning to respond instead of automatically react.

2. You Feel a Little More Compassion for Yourself

Self-kindness may not come naturally at first. But over time, therapy can help soften your inner critic. Maybe instead of spiraling after a mistake, you find yourself saying, “That was hard, but I did my best.” Or you hear your therapist’s voice reminding you that it’s okay to be human.

Compassion is a slow build — but when it shows up, it’s a sign of deep change.

3. The Patterns Are Still There — But You’re Not as Caught in Them

Healing often feels like this: you recognize the same old thoughts, the same urges to please, the same fears of failure. But now, you can name them. You have language for them. And sometimes, you even choose differently.

You may still feel stuck some days — but you’re stuck with awareness. And that’s different.

4. You Can Tolerate Discomfort Without Numbing It Immediately

Growth doesn’t always feel good. In fact, healing often involves sitting with feelings you used to avoid. If you find that you’re able to stay present during hard moments — to feel without shutting down or running away — that’s a powerful sign of emotional resilience taking root.

Even if it feels like you’re struggling, the fact that you’re showing up differently matters.

5. You’re Noticing That You Trust the Process — Even on Tough Days

Not every therapy session feels productive. Some may feel cathartic, some exhausting, others may leave you feeling unsure. That’s normal. Healing isn’t a constant upward climb — it’s a series of waves.

But if you’ve begun to trust that the work is doing something, even when it’s uncomfortable… that’s a sign of deepening trust in yourself, your therapist, and the process.

6. The Way You Talk to Others (and Yourself) Is Changing

Maybe you’re setting small boundaries — or even just thinking about them. Maybe you’re asking for what you need, or no longer apologizing for every little thing. These are the kinds of changes that happen slowly, then suddenly.

You may not notice your growth until you look back and realize: I wouldn’t have handled it like this a year ago.

7. You’re Learning That Healing Isn’t About Being “Fixed”

Ultimately, therapy is not about becoming perfect or never struggling again. It’s about becoming more you. It’s about learning how to hold your pain with care, to make choices aligned with your values, and to live with more intention and less shame.

Healing is learning that you’re  going to struggle and survive on the path to becoming whole.

Therapy Is a Journey, Not a Sprint

If you’re in therapy and wondering whether it’s working, you’re not alone. Healing doesn’t always feel like progress. Some days it feels like grief. Some days it’s uncomfortable. But that discomfort is often the sign that something inside you is shifting.

The truth is, you won’t always feel yourself healing — but that doesn’t mean you aren’t.

Keep showing up. Keep being curious. Keep allowing space for both the breakthroughs and the setbacks. With time, you’ll look back and realize just how far you’ve come.

Reminder:

Healing is slow. It’s layered. It’s full of contradictions. And most importantly — it’s possible.

You’re doing more than you think.